The purpose of my writing to you is to share a very deep and meaningful experience I had while on a weekend retreat. You see, 19 years ago I made a terrible choice, one of lasting consequences—I had an abortion.
Rather than detail the circumstances surrounding my decision, I would like to share my feelings for the past 19 years. I felt abortion was the most unpardonable sin. As a result, I alienated myself from God and the church for most of those years. My self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect deteriorated. I was ashamed and guilt-ridden, unable to forgive myself or grasp forgiveness from God. I felt so unworthy.
Deep in depression and spiritually destitute, I called Project Rachel. Finally, I was able to talk about my experience and was constantly reassurred of Jesus’ unconditional love for me.
Later, I attended a Rachel’s Vineyard Healing Retreat. There I found other women whose pain, suffering, and unrelenting remorse was just like mine. Step by step, we were led through a process of emotional and spiritual healing, grieved our children and celebrated a Memorial Service to honor their brief lives. It was so hard for me to imagine what I was being told, but through faith and the blessings of the Holy Spirit, I came to accept the fact that God’s love for us is truly incomprehensible.
Today I am gratefully happy to tell you that I feel much better about myself and enjoy going to church again. My work effectiveness has remarkably improved. With the continued grace of the Holy Spirit, I hope to be able to reach out with loving concern and support to others suffering from a past abortion.